Neuroshambles

The final episode of season 3 marks a first for Neuroshambles, as it’s the first ever live recording, performed in front of an audience. Mark is joined by returning guest Lisa Lloyd (@asd_with_a_g_and_t) for a raucous and laughter-filled discussion around what it's like to be a neurodivergent parent raising neurodivergent kids.
They examine a wide range of autistic, ADHD and PDA traits, and discuss how each of these can impact a neurodivergent parents’ experience of raising neurodivergent kids. They shine light onto sensory sensitivity, touch aversion, and the chaos that unplanned changes can cause in a home that runs on routine. They also talk candidly about masking, difficulty with social interactions with other parents, executive functioning, rejection sensitivity and the challenge of navigating your own overwhelm while supporting a child through meltdown.
There are plenty of positives too, as Mark and Lisa find the upside of autism parenting in shared understanding, a healthy disregard for authority, and the sense of injustice that fuels so many neurodivergent parents’ advocacy work. This warm, insightful and hilarious episode is a must listen for anyone navigating parenting through the lens of their own neurodivergency.
 
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED)
00:01:26 - Meet the guest: Lisa Lloyd
00:06:07 - Topic of the week: parenting neurodivergent kids as a neurodivergent parent
00:13:24 - A shared neurotype and a closer bond with the kids
00:15:48 - Sensory sensitivity and touch aversion
00:21:22 - Coping with changes of plan
00:27:13 - Masking, social struggles and finding your tribe
00:35:10 - Executive function and the never-ending admin
00:40:36 - Rejection sensitivity
00:47:13 - Navigating overwhelm and meltdowns together
00:58:39 - The Positives: the upsides of neurodivergent parenting
01:07:09 - Neurodiversity Champions
01:13:31 - Tiny Epic Wins
01:18:08 - What The Flip Moments
 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE
Neuroshambles mailing list sign-up (with free PDF of What the Flip moments) - https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share
Unmasking Mum by Lisa Lloyd - https://amzn.eu/d/0gbnKiwm
Lisa Lloyd (ASD with a G&T) on the socials:
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/asd_with_a_g_and_t/
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@asd.with.a.g.and.t
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/ASDwithGandT
Includes Us Too - https://includesustoo.org.uk/
Spinning World of Autism (Laura Brown) - https://www.spinningworldofautism.com/
Speak Up for Autism petition - https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/764248
PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
 
CONTACT NEUROSHAMBLES
🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles
🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod
📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles
📬 Sign up to the Neuroshambles mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share
 
CREDITS
🎧 Sound recording by CRT Audiotech: https://www.instagram.com/crtaudiotech/
🎥 Video recording by Brown Bear Studios, Brighton: https://brownbearstudios.co.uk/
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Mark welcomes back a Neuroshambles favourite Lisa Galley, for a deep dive into one of the topics every family raising neurodivergent kids will recognise: meltdowns. As an autism family consultant and mum to three of her own, fully grown neurodivergent humans, Lisa brings a wealth of lived experience to help unpick what is really going on in a child's brain and body when their nervous system tips beyond its limits.
Mark and Lisa explore the three main contributing factors to meltdowns, before working through the four main survival responses that PDA and other neurodivergent kids can show when overwhelmed: fight, flight, freeze and fawn. They also tackle one of the most frustrating bugbears for parents of autistic, ADHD and PDA kids - the assumption that a meltdown is simply a tantrum. They dissect exactly why the two are worlds apart and why treating one like the other often makes things worse.
They share honest, sometimes hair-raising stories from their own households, from the most extreme of flight responses to an epic meltdown triggered by an Easter egg hunt and they offer a genuinely practical rundown of what can help before, during and after a meltdown happens. It's the kind of grounded, funny, non-judgemental chat about parenting neurodivergent kids that Neuroshambles listeners are looking - whether they're seeking autistic parenting advice for the first time or simply want to feel a little less alone in the chaos.
 
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED)
00:01:10 - Meet the guest: Lisa Galley returns00:03:02 - Topic of the week: what actually is a meltdown?00:04:48 - The window of tolerance and the nervous system00:13:37 - Three main causes of meltdown: sensory, communication and unpredictability00:23:15 - Fight, flight, freeze and fawn: the four meltdown responses00:43:00 - Tantrums vs meltdowns: what's the difference?00:49:31 - Common misconceptions about meltdowns00:50:55 - Public meltdowns and dealing with judgement00:57:53 - Spotting the signs before a meltdown happens01:06:43 - What actually helps during a meltdown01:18:39 - The Positives01:21:48 - Neurodiversity Champions01:26:31 - Tiny Epic Wins01:30:39 - What The Flip? Moments
 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE
Parenting Your Autistic Child: Permission to Do It Differently, by Lisa Galley - https://amzn.eu/d/09LMvRVR
Lisa Galley's website - https://lisagalley.com
Lisa Galley's free Autism Parenting Guide to Meltdowns (plus bonus meltdown tracker) - https://learn.lisagalley.com/meltdownsguide
Different Minds: How We Can Help Our Autistic School Children Thrive, by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/0cE2Sjcq
Neuroshambles mailing list sign-up (with free PDF of What the Flip moments) - https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share
 
📣 CONTACT US
🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles
🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod
📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles
📬 Sign up to the Neuroshambles mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share
 
🎙️ CREDITS
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com
 

The issue of how to navigate sleep with our neurodivergent kids is one of the most requested topics on Neuroshambles, so Mark brought in someone who actually knows what she's talking about. This episode tackles the question that haunts pretty much every household raising neurodivergent kids: how do you get them to sleep, keep them asleep, and stop them waking up at some ungodly hour demanding an apple?
Mark is joined by Michelle Cyril, a children's nurse and fully qualified paediatric sleep consultant who specialises in supporting families of autistic, ADHD and PDA kids. She's also a parent of neurodivergent twins herself, so this isn't advice from someone lecturing from a textbook - it's advice from someone who's been on the sharp end of three-hour bedtime battles too.
Mark and Michelle break bedtime down into its component parts of chaos: the bedtime routine itself, actually getting to sleep, staying asleep through the night, and waking up - wether that’s ludicrously early, or begrudgingly late. They cover why traditional sleep advice is largely useless for neurodivergent kids, how PDA turns bedtime into a demand minefield, and dive into the knotty issue of melatonin. Anyone wondering whether melatonin is safe, why GPs are so reluctant to prescribe it, or why their kid can't seem to switch their brain off at night will find answers here.
Whether it's a PDA profile, an ADHD brain that won't switch off, or a kid who just runs unnervingly hot in bed, there's something in this episode for most Neuroshamblers.
 
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated)
00:01:48 - Meet the Guest: Michelle Cyril00:04:00 - Topic of the Week: Why Sleep Is Such a Battle00:13:39 - The Traditional Sleep Advice That Just Doesn't Work00:16:13 - Making Bedtime Routines Fun Instead of Boring00:26:35 - PDA, Demand Avoidance and Bedtime00:34:06 - Getting to Sleep: Busy Brains and Familiar Stories00:45:11 - The Melatonin Debate00:58:39 - Staying Asleep: Night Waking and Anxiety01:10:46 - The Early Morning Wake-Up Struggle01:17:23 - The Impact of Poor Sleep on Parents01:23:02 - Sleep Deprivation and Its Ripple Effects01:26:44 - Finding the Silver Linings01:28:39 - Neurodiversity Champions01:31:48 - Tiny Epic Wins01:35:58 - What the Flip?
 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE
Neuroshambles mailing list sign-up (with free PDF of What the Flip moments) - https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share
Michelle Cyril, Family Sleep Specialist - https://familysleepspecialist.co.uk/
Busy Brains at Bedtime (Michelle's free download) - https://familysleepspecialist.co.uk/busy-brains-guide/
Greeking Out (National Geographic podcast) - https://www.nationalgeographic.com/podcasts/greeking-out/
Michael Gradisar - https://winksleep.online/about-michael-gradisar
Confusional Arousals - https://www.sleepfoundation.org/parasomnias/confusional-arousal
Neuro Embrace, Madeleine Woolgar - https://www.neuro-embrace.com
ARFID Life UK - https://www.facebook.com/p/ARFID-Life-UK-61569140673395/
 
📣 CONTACT US
🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles
🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod
📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles
📬 Sign up to the Neuroshambles mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share
 
CREDITS
🎙️ CREDITS
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com
 

Part two of our deep dive into EBSA for neurodivergent children is essential listening for anyone navigating the school avoidance minefield as a parent or carer of a neurodivergent child - whether they are autistic, ADHD, PDA profile, or any combination of the above.
Heidi Mavir returns to offer her advice as someone who has lived every corner of this experience - not only in her own life, but also through her advocacy work with thousands of families affected by barriers to attendance. In this episode, we dig into the real-world impact - the emotional, financial and logistical strain it places on families.
We also look at practical things parents can actually do if their child is experiencing barriers to attendance - from how absences should be coded at school, to what the Children's Wellbeing Bill means for home education rights, to when a part-time timetable might help and when it's just a sticking plaster.
If you're wrestling with EBSA daily and you’re looking for advice that's rooted in lived experience, this is the episode for you.
 
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED)
00:01:28 - Meet The Guest00:03:25 - Topic of the Week: Barriers to Attendance Part 200:03:59 - Parental Blame and Being Doubted by School Professionals00:09:32 - Attendance Targets, Fines, and Rewarding Full Attendance00:13:23 - "Make Home Less Appealing" and Other Unhelpful Advice00:17:49 - Why Exposure Therapy Doesn't Work for EBSA00:21:35 - The Emotional, Financial and Relational Impact on Parents00:35:34 - What You Can Actually Do: Practical Advice for Families00:53:15 - Home Education, Deregistering and the Children's Wellbeing Bill01:11:46 - EOTAS and When School Just Isn't the Right Shape01:15:07 - It's Not All Rubbish: Specialist Settings and What Works01:20:05 - Neurodiversity Champions01:25:19 - Tiny Epic Wins01:31:10 - What the Flip!
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE
Neuroshambles mailing list sign-up (with free PDF of all What the Flip moments from all 59 episodes) - https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share
Your Child Is Not Broken book, Heidi Mavir - https://www.heidimavir.com/i-wrote-a-book
Your Child Is Not Broken free Facebook community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/eotasmatters
Heidi Mavir: The Marble run - https://www.heidimavir.com/the-marble-run
Children’s Wellbeing and Schools Act - https://bills.parliament.uk/bills/3909
Section 19 of Children and Families Act - https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2014/6/section/19
EOTAS, EOTIS, EOTISC - https://www.ipsea.org.uk/home-education-and-education-otherwise
Not Fine in School - https://www.notfineinschool.co.uk
Define Fine - https://www.definefine.org.uk/
SEND Advocacy Limited (Alice) - https://www.sendadvocacy.com/
Audhdacious Humans - https://www.audhdacious.com/
Make and Create Club - https://www.audhdacious.com/make-and-create/club/
Eliza Fricker and "Can't Not Won't" - https://amzn.eu/d/0bMMrrwa
 
📣 CONTACT NEUROSHAMBLES
🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles
🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod
📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles
📬 Sign up to the Neuroshambles mailing list: https://preview.mailerlite.io/forms/2414072/190019322933937234/share
 
🎙️ CREDITS
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

If you are a parent or carer of a neurodivergent child, the chances are that school attendance has been a topic that has kept you awake at night. Whether you know it as school refusal, emotionally based school avoidance, or one of a dozen other terms, it is one of the most stressful and isolating things a family can go through.
As a neurodivergent parenting podcast, Neuroshambles has been asked about this topic more than almost any other, so this week’s guest is one of the best in the business. Heidi Mavir is a best-selling author, public speaker, late-identified autistic and ADHD adult, and one of the most knowledgeable and tireless advocates for SEND families in the UK. Her own journey with her son Theo, who went from full school attendance to none at all in the space of a few months at the age of fourteen, gives her both the lived experience and the hard-won expertise to talk about this topic like very few others can.
This is Part 1 of a two-part episode, so here we focus on what barriers to attendance actually looks like in neurodivergent children and young people - from the terminology chaos to the sensory nightmare of school environments, the morning meltdowns, the masking, the after-school explosions, the physical symptoms, and ultimately what can happen when it all builds up into burnout. Part 2 will focus on the family impact and what you can actually do about it.
If you are a parent trying to make sense of what is happening with your child and school, this one is for you.
 
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED)
00:01:37 - Meet the Guest - Heidi Mavir
00:05:08 - What is EBSA? Unpacking the Terminology
00:19:01 - Why School is a Sensory and Emotional Minefield
00:30:40 - The PDA Dimension - Demand Avoidance in School
00:35:27 - Early Signs of Barriers to Attendance
00:42:00 - Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn and Flop - Polyvagal Theory
00:45:33 - After-School Meltdowns and the Masking Behind Them
00:52:19 - Physical Symptoms - When the Body Tells the Story
00:57:01 - What Changes Outside of School?
01:03:41 - How Barriers to Attendance Build Up Gradually Over Time
01:07:42 - Autistic Burnout - When It All Catches Up
01:17:22 - Neurodiversity Champions
01:20:13 - Tiny Epic Wins
01:23:04 - What the Flip?
 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE
Your Child Is Not Broken by Heidi Mavir - https://www.heidimavir.com/i-wrote-a-book
EOTAS Matters - https://www.heidimavir.com/forfamilies
PDA Society: School Distress - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-helps-guides/pda-and-emotionally-based-school-avoidance-ebsa/
Kieran Rose: School Induced Trauma - https://theautisticadvocate.com/school-refusal-or-school-induced-trauma-rethinking-ebsa-ebsna-and-the-harm-we-call-help/
Audhdacious Humans - https://www.audhdacious.com/
Polyvagal Theory - https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/whatispolyvagaltheory
Scouts UK - https://www.scouts.org.uk/
Heidi Mavir/Rachel Filmer webinar on SEND Reform Proposals - https://eotasmatters.kartra.com/page/WhitePaperWebinar
Black SEN Mamas - https://blacksenmamas.com/
Rachel Filmer - https://www.instagram.com/sendra.uk/
Not Fine in School - https://www.notfineinschool.co.uk
Square Peg - https://www.teamsquarepeg.co.uk/
Define Fine - https://www.definefine.org.uk/
 
📣 CONTACT US
🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neuroshambles/
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles/
 
🎙️ CREDITS
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

This week we're back with part two of a candid, deep dive into screen time. Last time we covered all the good stuff - the regulation, the social connection, the sense of mastery. This time, we're braving the darker side of the coin.
Mark is joined again by Hannah, mum to nine-year-old Henry (autistic, ADHD, PDA profile) and six-year-old Thea (suspected neurotypical). Together they work through the thornier aspects of neurodivergent parenting and screen time - addiction, in-game spending, safeguarding and parental controls. They also take an honest look at crushing guilt and the shame that often lies underneath it, as well as how to handle transitions off screens without descending into full-scale conflict.
For anyone trying to navigate neurodivergency parenting without a rulebook, this episode won't give you all the answers, but it will make you feel considerably less alone.
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CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED)
00:01:10 - Meet the Guest
00:02:34 - This Week's Topic: Screen Time - The Difficult Bits
00:03:48 - Screen Addiction, ADHD and the Dopamine Loop
00:16:12 - Managing Screen Time: Swapping One Dopamine Hit for Another
00:21:57 - In-Game Spending, Roblox and Robux
00:29:16 - Safeguarding and Online Safety
00:34:10 - Parental Controls: A Full-Time Job
00:46:52 - Are Screens Putting Our Kids Off Other Kinds of Play?
00:50:39 - Using Screens as a Tool for Transitions and Outings
00:56:38 - Getting Them Off Screens: Transition Strategies That (Sometimes) Work
01:01:45 - Parental Guilt, Shame and Societal Judgement
01:12:46 - It's Not All Rubbish
01:15:12 - Neurodiversity Champions
01:21:43 - Tiny Epic Wins
01:25:48 - What the Flip Moments
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LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE
Neuroshambles Live, Brighton (23rd July 2026) - www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1988682312330/?discount=Neuroshamblers
Alternatively, search "Neuroshambles Live" on https://www.eventbrite.co.uk and use the access code “Neuroshamblers” for the discounted rate of £8 throughout May. After that, tickets go on general sale for £10.
Screen time: Part 1 episode - https://neuroshambles.com/episode/screen-time-part-1-the-benefits-for-neurodivergent-kids-hannah-woods
ADHD and dopamine - https://www.additudemag.com/brain-stimulation-and-adhd-cravings-dependency-and-regulation/
Roblox - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roblox
Grow a garden - https://growa-garden.io/
Apple parental controls - https://support.apple.com/en-gb/105121
Google parental controls - https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/15077835?hl=en
Microsoft parental controls - https://www.microsoft.com/en-gb/microsoft-365/family-safety
Crunchyroll - https://www.crunchyroll.com/
Tech Smart Parenting book by Catherine Knibbs - https://amzn.eu/d/0iqIy0cv
Holidays Episode of Neuroshambles - https://neuroshambles.com/episode/holidays-dr-hildi-mitchell
Cards against humanity - https://amzn.eu/d/08Dn7YIt
Smartphone Free Childhood - https://www.smartphonefreechildhood.org/
Spectrum Squad Penarth - https://www.facebook.com/groups/2039735040102766/
------------
📣 CONTACT US
🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles
🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod
📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles
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🎙️ CREDITS
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Description
If you're a parent of a neurodivergent child and you've ever felt quietly judged for your approach to screen time, this episode of Neuroshambles is for you. Mark is joined by Hannah Woods - one of the founders of the Spectrum Squad, a neurodivergent youth group in Penarth, South Wales - to tackle one of the most requested topics the show has ever had: managing screen time with our neurodivergent kids.
This is part one of a two-part deep dive of a particularly knotty topic, and it's entirely focused on the positives of screen time. Because if you're navigating autism parenting, ADHD parenting, or PDA parenting, you'll know that screens aren't just a lazy shortcut - they can be a genuine lifeline. Whether it's helping your child regulate, learn and connect with peers, or just giving you ten minutes of respite to gather your energy, screen time is doing some heavy lifting in a lot of neurodivergent households.
This is an honest, relatable conversation about the gap between the parents we thought we'd be and the parents our kids actually need us to be. Part 2, covering the potential downsides of screen time, is coming in the next episode. But for now, let's hear the case for the defence.
 
Chapter Timestamps
00:00 - Introduction and Neuroshambles Live Announcement
02:56 - Meet the Guest: Hannah Woods
08:10 - Topic Introduction: Screen Time with Neurodivergent Kids
10:00 - How We Thought We'd Parent Around Screens (Before We Met Our Kids)
14:29 - The Stigma Around Screen Time
15:23 - Screen Time Limits, NHS Guidance and Why It Doesn't Apply to Our Kids
18:17 - Dr Naomi Fisher: It's Not the Screen, It's What's Behind It
21:59 - Screens for Regulation - Meltdowns, Overwhelm and India's Wardrobe Nook
29:29 - Special Interests, Hyperfocus and Letting Them Go Deep
39:17 - Online Connection, Belonging and the Social Value of Multiplayer Gaming
42:39 - Building Friendships Through Minecraft and Shared Play
50:04 - Sharing Content as a Love Language (YouTube Clips Count)
55:16 - Watching Online as a Gateway to Special Interests
57:40 - Screens as a Learning Tool - Laptops, Writing and Demand Avoidance
01:01:08 - Reading Apps and How They Changed Everything
01:03:20 - Self-Esteem, Gaming and Finding Your Thing
01:04:53 - Screens as a Social Bridge
01:07:44 - From 3D Printing to School Fair Entrepreneur
01:09:52 - The Parental Sanity Argument (Yes, It Counts)
01:13:16 - Screens for Sleep and Winding Down
01:15:20 - Neurodiversity Champions
01:18:22 - Tiny Epic Wins
01:22:09 - What the Flip Moments
 
Links to Stuff We Mention in This Episode
Neuroshambles Live, Brighton (23rd July 2026) - www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1988682312330/?discount=Neuroshamblers
Alternatively, search "Neuroshambles Live" on https://www.eventbrite.co.uk and use the access code “Neuroshamblers” for the discounted rate of £8 throughout May. After that, tickets go on general sale for £10.
The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker - https://amzn.eu/d/02qGPcjD
Dr Naomi Fisher article on screens - https://naomifisher.co.uk/tags/screens/
Bluey - https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m000vbrk/bluey
Gravity Falls - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravity_Falls
How To Break Up With Your Phone - https://amzn.eu/d/04PSfLq9
Roblox - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roblox
JusTalk Kids - https://kids.justalk.com/
MindJam - https://mindjam.org.uk/
Super Mario Odyssey - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Mario_Odyssey
Audible storybooks - https://www.audible.co.uk/
Calm app - https://www.calm.com/
Greeking Out (National Geographic podcast) - https://www.nationalgeographic.com/podcasts/greeking-out/
Have Fun, Get Fit (South Wales) - https://www.facebook.com/HaveFunGetFitRossParsons/
Neurospicy Wings (South Wales) - https://www.neurospicywings.co.uk/
 
📣 CONTACT US
🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neuroshambles/
🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
 
🎙️ CREDITS
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

If you've ever found yourself having to outline the entire day's schedule before you've even had your first coffee, or negotiating bath time as a sacred non-negotiable human right, this episode might just be the one you didn't know you needed. Mark is joined by the brilliant Jo Matthews for a deep dive into what it really means to be your child's safe person.
Whether your neuroshambolic family is shaped by autism, ADHD or PDA, so many of us know the exhausting, relentless, sometimes claustrophobic experience of being the one person our child needs above all others. It's a privilege and it's hard work, but it's almost never talked about with the honesty it deserves on a neurodivergent parenting podcast.
In a Neuroshambles first, this episode also features a second guest - Dotty Matthews, Jo's 19-year-old autistic daughter - who joins Mark for a candid, funny and genuinely moving conversation about what it felt like to be that child. From the early days of demanding apple juice to command her mum's attention, through to slowly learning to find safety in other people, Dotty's perspective is the kind of lived experience that makes this show worth your time.
There's also a listener email from Lydia, whose 13-year-old daughter's intense attachment prompted this whole conversation - and both Jo and Dotty have something genuinely useful to say in response. Autistic parenting advice doesn't get much more grounded in lived experience than this.
CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED)
00:01:08 - Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews
00:03:40 - This Week's Topic: Being Your Child's Safe Person
00:04:22 - Lydia's Listener Email
00:07:06 - Dotty's Early Attachment (and the Gee Story)
00:10:25 - Transitional Objects and Starting School
00:18:58 - Co-regulation: Being Your Child's Emotional Anchor
00:25:54 - Scaffolding the Day: Structure and Predictability
00:30:54 - Being Their Executive Function
00:37:45 - Advocating for Your Child
00:43:41 - Being a Physical Safe Space (Including Co-sleeping)
00:48:05 - Being an Emotional Outlet
00:56:34 - The Guilt and Exhaustion of Being a Safe Person
01:03:12 - Attachment Theory and Building Independence
01:06:58 - When Only One Parent is the Safe Person
01:14:17 - Meet the Second Guest: Dotty Matthews
01:38:51 - It's Not All Rubbish
01:41:07 - Neurodiversity Champions
01:43:46 - Tiny Epic Wins
01:47:04 - What the Flip Moments
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE
Attachment Theory (John Bowlby) - https://www.simplypsychology.org/bowlby.html
The Loxdale Centre, Portslade - https://www.loxdale.com/
mASCot - https://www.asc-mascot.com/
Mark's talk: "How Dads Can Show Up Better For Our Neurodivergent Kids" - https://neuroshambles.com/page-gazc-3dk8-ywa8-dnly
Raising SEND kids: The Dad's Perspective (with Terry Lloyd) - https://neuroshambles.com/episode/raising-send-kids-the-dads-perspective-terry-lloyd
 
📣 CONTACT US
🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles
🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod
📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles
🎙️ CREDITS
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

If you've ever stared at a parenting book and thought "none of this applies to my child whatsoever" - this episode is for you. Mark is joined by comedian, author, and fellow parent-in-the-trenches George Lewis for a proper deep dive into one of the great unspoken challenges of neurodivergent parenting: figuring out who your kid actually is, and how to parent them, when the instruction manual simply doesn't exist.
Because most parenting advice out there is written for neurotypical kids. And when you've got autistic, ADHD, or PDA children, you quickly discover that you essentially have to work it out yourself. That means years of research, trial and error, conflicting information, and the occasional moment of going "hang on… is THIS a thing I need to learn about now?" It's exhausting and exasperating, but it's also, occasionally, brilliant.
This is an honest, funny and insightful autism parenting podcast episode that covers the whole messy journey - from those early days of thinking something's different but not knowing quite what, through diagnosis (including the woefully misguided NHS leaflet with their list of top tips), to the point where you cautiously start to feel like you might actually know what you're doing.
If you're deep in that process right now, or just starting out, this one's for you. And if you're a seasoned neurodivergent parenting veteran, you'll recognise pretty much every single moment of it.
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CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated)
00:00 – Intro
01:15 - Meet the Guest: George Lewis
06:28 - Topic of the Week: Writing Your Own User Manual
08:18 - Imagining parenthood vs the reality
12:04 - Apraxia of speech and George's early diagnosis journey
18:19 - Understanding autism: the spectrum, spiky profiles and the mixing desk analogy
31:32 - Navigating the NHS diagnosis route (and the unhelpful booklet you receive when they're diagnosed)
58:16 - Information overload and knowing when to put the lid back on
01:03:39 - Discovering PDA and low demand language
01:05:31 - Conflicting advice and how to navigate it
01:11:36 - Trusting your gut when some recommended approaches don't sit right
01:20:44 - It's Not All Rubbish: the positives of doing the research
01:25:52 - Neurodiversity Champions
01:28:53 - Tiny Epic Wins
01:32:24 - What the Flip! Moments
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LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE
George Lewis website - https://www.georgelewiscomedian.com
George Lewis Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/georgelewiscom
George Lewis TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@georgelewiscomedian
George Lewis Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/georgelewiscom
George Lewis YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@georgelewiscom
Autism Colour Wheel - https://community.autism.org.uk/cfs-file/__key/communityserver-discussions-components-files/4/autism-colour-wheel.pdf
Government SEND white paper - https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/every-child-achieving-and-thriving
Neuroshambles Episode with Kieran Rose: How Autistic Is Your Child? – https://neuroshambles.com/episode/how-autistic-is-your-child-kieran-rose
Autistica - https://www.autistica.org.uk/
Pierre Novellie “Why can’t I just enjoy things?” - https://amzn.eu/d/0fL1X5Fb
Fern Brady “Strong Female Character” - https://amzn.eu/d/07Uk4H6a
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📣 CONTACT US
🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles
🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod
📘 Facebook: @neuroshambles
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🎙️ CREDITS
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Mark is joined by Sam Bayley - founder of mASCot, a Sussex-based parent-to-parent support network for families of autistic, ADHD and PDA children and young adults - for a warm and genuinely uplifting conversation about one of the most important things you can do as a neurodivergent parent: find your people.
They dig into why parenting a neurodivergent child can feel so isolating - especially in the early days before diagnosis, when you're still trying to crowbar your kid into situations built for neurotypical families and slowly realising it isn't working. Sam shares the story of how mASCot grew from a few breakout coffee sessions into a community supporting thousands of families, and Mark recounts the moment he first walked into Sunday Club and felt the blessed relief of a room with absolutely no judgement in it.
They also get into the thornier side of finding your people - namely, the bit where you have to let go of the ones who aren't. From unsupportive friends who just aren't listening, to family members who think it's all a fad, this episode doesn't shy away from how hard it can be to protect your energy when you haven't got much of it to spare.
If you're after a neurodivergent parenting podcast that feels human, honest and occasionally sweary, this one's for you.
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CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated):00:00 - Intro01:11 - Meet the Guest: Sam Bayley04:01 - Topic of the Week: The Importance of Finding Your People09:10 - How mASCot Was Born: Coffee Mornings and the Birth of Community10:09 - Early Expectations and the Reality of Neurodivergent Parenthood27:19 - The "Coming Home to Autism" Event That Changed Everything31:35 - The mASCot Card: A Little Bit of Context, a Lot of Confidence37:51 - Sunday Club and the Joy of a Non-Judgmental Space47:59 - Inspired to Act: Hannah Woods and Spectrum Squad Penarth52:16 - The Online Community: Why mASCot's Facebook Forum Matters59:52 - When Lockdown Showed Us What Our Kids Already Knew01:01:49 - Finding Your People Means Letting Go of the Wrong Ones01:09:05 - The Tricky Business of Unsupportive Family Members01:13:18 - It's Not All Rubbish: The Positives of Finding Your People01:16:17 - Neurodiversity Champions: mASCot, Bill Bayley and the BNC01:22:40 - Tiny Epic Wins01:26:12 - What the Flip? Moments
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LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
Podcasthon - https://podcasthon.org/
mASCot - https://www.asc-mascot.com
Donate to mASCot via Givey - https://www.givey.com/mascot
National Autistic Society - https://www.autism.org.uk/
PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/
Bristol Parent Carers Forum - https://www.bristolparentcarers.org.uk/
The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene - https://amzn.eu/d/0jkdMxga
Spectrum Squad Penarth - https://www.facebook.com/groups/2039735040102766/
Brighton Neurodivergent Community (BNC) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/brightonneurodiverse
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📣 CONTACT US🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles
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🎙️ CREDITS🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com