Neuroshambles

Following on from part 1, fan favourite Jo Matthews joins Mark once more for another laughter-filled, cathartic rant through the most mind-bogglingly ill-informed things people have said about raising autistic, ADHD, PDA and otherwise neurodivergent kids.
In this episode, Mark and Jo go deeper into strategies for pushing back against ignorance without burning out.They discuss when to educate, when to ignore, and how to protect your peace when it feels like the world has no idea what you’re going through.
Jo shares practical approaches for raising awareness in schools and extended families, and why some battles just aren’t worth fighting.
This one’s full of laughter, reassurance, solidarity and a few tactical comebacks for the next time someone says, “They seem fine to me.”
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CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated):
00:00 - Intro & Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews Returns
05:30 - "Have you tried a routine?"
10:30 - "Have you tried a parenting course?"
13:30 - “Have you tried changing their diet?”
17:00 - "Why don't you take their screens away?"
20:00 - "Does he have mild autism?"
25:30 - Good autism v bad autism
29:00 - “We’re all a bit autistic"
34:30 - "ADHD is just an excuse"
37:00 - “It doesn't define him”
41:00 - "There's nothing wrong with him"
43:00 - Medical v Social models of disability
47:30 - "My kid does that"
50:00 - “He'll eat when he's hungry"
52:30 - “He'll grow out of it"
54:30 - “He doesn't look autistic"
56:30 - “But, he can talk, so he can’t be autistic”
59:00 - “ADHD is just for boys”
1:01:30 - "What's wrong with him?"
1:02:30 - "I bet he's good at maths"
1:04:30 - "I don't know how you do it"
1:07:00 - Misguided empathy: "I know how you feel"
1:09:00 - "But I do that and I'm not autistic"
1:14:00 - The completely batshit mental comments
1:20:00 - Neurodiversity Champions
1:21:30 - Tiny Epic Wins
1:25:00 - "What the flip?" moments
1:27:30 - Wrap-up & contact info
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LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
The medical vs social models of disability: www.scope.org.uk/about-us/social-model-of-disability/
Autism assessments (AQ Test): www.embrace-autism.com/aq-10/#test
Bowles Outdoor Centre - www.bowles.rocks
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CONTACT US
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles
🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod
📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles
🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles
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CREDITS
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

In this episode, Mark is joined once again by the brilliant Jo Matthews for a cathartic, hilarious, and occasionally sweary dive into the unfiltered reality of parenting autistic, ADHD and PDA kids.
From "It's just a label" and "He’s fine with me" to "You just need to push them out of their comfort zone", this is part one of a two-part special on the unsolicited commentary we all get, whether it’s from strangers, family members, or well-meaning-but-utterly-wrong professionals. The kind of comments that pretend to be supportive but are really just dismissive, ignorant, or unhelpfully optimistic.
Together, Mark and Jo share personal stories, listener submissions, and a few moments of pure rage-laughter, as they unpack why these statements cut so deep - and how to push back with humour, honesty, and the occasional incredulous raise of the eyebrow.
If you've ever encountered the ignorance of strangers and you're looking for a neurodivergent parenting podcast that makes you feel seen, this is the one for you.
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CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated):00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews06:00 – “It's just a label”08:00 - The story of Rube Waddell16:00 - "Stop Mollycoddling your child"21:00 - "You let them win too much"22:30 - "Can't you just make them do it?"26:00 - "You should make their home life more unpleasant"28:00 - "Your parenting is wishy washy"31:00 - "Children just need boundaries"36:00 - "You need to push them out of their comfort zone"43:00 - "Are you too afraid to say no?"48:00 - "How will they manage in the real world?"52:00 - "Sometimes, it's a choice"54:00 - "They're just trying to get their own way"01:02:00 - "They're fine when they're with me"01:07:00 - The Positives01:09:30 - Neurodiversity Champions01:12:00 - Tiny Epic Wins01:14:30 - What the Flip?01:17:00 - Wrap-Up & What’s Coming in Part Two
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LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
Rube Waddell - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rube_Waddell
"Am I raising an arsehole?" episode of Neuroshambles -https://pod.link/1710455546/episode/a313c1057becbcd2e24d64c5bf94820e
"The Explosive Child" book - https://drrossgreene.com/the-explosive-child.htm
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CONTACT US
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles
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CREDITS
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

In this episode, Nicole Bateman joins Mark to explore why neurodivergent kids often struggle to take up hobbies - those wholesome after-school activities that see neurotypical kids flourish… but which, for many parents of autistic, ADHD or PDA kids are either a logistical nightmare, a sensory minefield, or a fast track to public meltdown.
Together, they explore the myths, pressures and downright ridiculousness of what “having hobbies” means when you are parenting neurodivergent children.
Nicole shares how she’s reframed success and what helps her child engage without pressure. Mark opens up about the guilt, the frustration and the financial strain of trying to nurture interests that never seem to last past the first session.
They cover what actually works, what definitely doesn’t, and the benefits of learning to follow your neurodifferent child's lead, so you can meet them where they're at, rather than where you want them to be.
It’s an honest, often funny conversation about persistence, passion and letting go of neurotypical timelines.
 
STUFF WE COVER:
00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Nicole Bateman03:00 – The fantasy of hobbies vs the reality08:00 – Issues with trust and accessibility13:00 – After-school clubs18:00 – The Summer holiday hobby void25:00 – Trying to force your neurodivergent children to have a hobby33:00 – Social disconnect in group settings39:00 – When your best intentions fail44:00 - Environmental barriers to adopting a hobby47:00 – Competitive Sport: Gift or Curse?53:00 – Caesar-or-Nothing syndrome & hobby avoidance59:00 – Drop-off disasters1:07:00 – What *does* work?1:12:00 – It's not all rubbish: A look at the positives1:15:00 – Neurodiversity Champions1:23:00 – Tiny Epic Wins1:26:00 – What the Flip? Moments1:29:00 – Wrap-Up & Where to Find Nicole
 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
Nicole Bateman’s Website – Friendly SEND Advisor and Super Sensory Squad: https://nicolebateman.co.uk/
Conversations with a SEND Mum – Nicole’s podcast: https://conversationswithasendmum.buzzsprout.com/
Super Sensory Squad Book – ‘Buzz’s Birthday’ and other penguin-based sensory tools: https://www.thesupersensorysquad.com/
Cub Scouts: https://www.scouts.org.uk/cubs/being-a-cub/joining-cubs/
Lisa Lloyd reel - Neurotypicals watching what their parents watch: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIzCFBxNzxT
“Why Can’t I Just Enjoy Things?” by Pierre Novellie – Caesar-or-nothing brains and comedy insight: https://amzn.eu/d/dSZA4dC
Minecraft Club - Online Social Group for 7-14 year olds: https://minecraftclub.co.uk/
Press Play - Stop frame animation workshops in Sussex: https://pressplayfilms.co.uk/ 
Boogie Beat - Music and movement classes: https://boogiebeat.co.uk/
Sam Mills – Disability Tennis Brighton: Email smsportsolutions@gmail.com for information
 
CONTACT US
📧 Email: hello@neuroshambles.com
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles
🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod
📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles
🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles
 
CREDITS
🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
 

Shopping - whether it’s for clothes, food or shoes - can be a sensory, emotional and logistical nightmare when you’re parenting autistic or ADHD children. Helen Stuart joins Mark to discuss why “just popping to the shops” is a long-held pipedream.
They share tales from the front line of their own shopping trip traumas, and discuss how sensory overload, PDA, and unpredictable environments make supermarkets and shopping centres feel like hostile territory.
Helen explains the practical steps her family takes to get through it - and when they just opt out entirely. Mark shares how even a trip to the corner shop has to be planned like a military operation, and how public perception adds a whole extra layer of pressure.
A funny, honest episode that every neurodivergent parenting family will relate to.
 
STUFF WE COVER:
00:00 – Intro & Listener Feedback02:00 – Meet the Guest: Helen Stuart06:00 – Topic of the Week: Shopping13:00 – Why Supermarkets Are Sensory Torture19:00 – The Emotional Toll of Trolleys and Comments25:00 – PDA Autonomy, Meltdowns, and the Elsa Cup Incident33:00 – Supermarket Sweep, PDA-Style39:00 – Self-Checkouts vs Human Interaction45:00 – Clothing & Footwear Battles52:00 – Lush, Libraries and Return Rage59:00 – When Book Tokens Become a Poisoned Chalice1:04:00 – The Positives (Yes, Really!)1:10:00 – Neurodiversity Champions1:16:00 – Tiny Epic Wins1:20:00 – What the Flip? Moments1:23:00 – Wrap-Up & Thrive Together Info
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
PDA Society - Support and resources for families living with a PDA profile: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk
Supermarket Sweep - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supermarket_Sweep_(British_game_show)
Sunflower Lanyard Scheme - For invisible disabilities: https://hiddendisabilitiesstore.com
Waterstones Book Tokens - https://www.waterstones.com/help/gift-cards-and-vouchers/32
H&M - https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/kids.html
Skechers - https://www.skechers.co.uk/kids/
Lindsay's Swim School - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063580090089&sk=about
Nelson Street Church, Rochdale - https://www.nelsonstreetchurch.org/
Thrive Together Training website – https://thrivetogethertraining.co.uk
Thrive Together Training Facebook page – www.facebook.com/thrivetogethertraining
Thrive Together Training Instagram account – www.instagram.com/thrivetogethertraining
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CONTACT US
🎧 Do you have a “What the flip?” moment or a tiny epic win to share?📧 Email us: hello@neuroshambles.com
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FOLLOW US
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles
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CREDITS
🎶 Theme tune by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
 

Starting school is a big deal for any child – but for neurodivergent children, it can be the beginning of a long and complicated relationship with the education system. Mark is joined by Helen Daniel to explore what happens when the school system isn’t built for your child.
They discuss transitions, sensory overload, academic gaslighting and the slow-burning isolation that builds in the school playground (for kids and parents alike), as they dissect the emotional rollercoaster of watching your child struggle in a system not built for them.
Together, they share tips for advocating for your child while staying sane – and what they wish they’d known from the beginning.
If you’re looking for an autism, ADHD or PDA parenting podcast episodes about starting school, this one is essential listening.
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STUFF WE COVER:00:00 – Intro & Listener Message01:45 – Meet the Guest: Helen Daniel06:00 – Topic of the Week: Early Years & School21:00 – Sensory Profiles and Unrealistic Expectations34:00 – ND Communication Styles & Social Hierarchies47:00 – Parent Isolation and Drop-Off Struggles56:30 – School Pickup Dread & Neurodivergent Burnout1:03:00 – What Needs to Change in Education1:04:45 – Neurodiversity Champions1:09:00 – Tiny Epic Wins1:14:00 – What the Flip? Moments1:17:00 – Wrap-Up & Helen’s Book Plug
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LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:Outside the Box Sensory (Helen’s website for talks, training and resources) - https://outsidetheboxsensory.comFollow Helen on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/otbsensoryFollow Helen on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/outsidetheboxsensoryHelen’s book – Neurosensory Divergence: Autistic Languages and Inclusion (Amazon): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CV4PSMH7The Double Empathy Problem – Dr. Damian Milton: https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academicsHeidi Mavir Neuroshambles Empathy Episode - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-avrx7-17af07cPete Wharmby Neuroshambles Masking Episode - https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-cke9u-18156f6Progressive Education – Resources for alternative provision and inclusive practice: https://www.progressiveeducation.orgGrove Neurodivergent Mentoring & Education – Interest-based communities for ND kids: https://www.gr0ve.org/Silent Disco - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_disco
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CONTACT US
🎧 Got a “What the flip?” moment or a tiny epic win to share?📧 Email us: hello@neuroshambles.com
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FOLLOW US
📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles
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CREDITS
🎶 Theme tune by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com
 

Have you ever felt like the odd one out in your own family? In this episode, Mark chats with Kirsty Hockenhull, a fellow self-diagnosed neurotypical in the midst of a chaotic, neurodivergent household. They discuss how it feels to be the lone neurotypical in a family teeming with autism, ADHD, and PDA - touching on everything from helping them navigate everyday social conventions to how to cope when your emotional needs are the only ones not being accommodated for.
They discuss the challenges of bridging two worlds - interpreting “neurotypical” rules for neurodivergent loved ones, while also learning where those same social norms should be thrown out of the window altogether.
There are candid insights into parenting styles, navigating brutal honesty (“Mum, why are you so old?” or “Dad, you should iron your face!”), and the realisation that sometimes your greatest strength is simply having enough “spoons” to hold it all together.
A light-hearted but deeply affirming neurodivergent parenting podcast episode for mixed-neurotype families.
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LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:Pizza Express - https://www.pizzaexpress.com/The Great Escape - https://greatescapefestival.com/Wife Swap - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife_Swap_(British_TV_series)Gorilla Gym - https://amzn.eu/d/bpK6C0GAngela Barnes – https://www.angelabarnescomedy.co.uk/The Stimming Pool - https://www.thestimmingpool.com/Electric Palace Cinema, Hastings - https://www.electricpalacecinema.com/Lucy Bronze – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xriJ8wZm1w4
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CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions, or any “What the flip?” moments you’d like to share, feel free to email us:
hello@neuroshambles.com
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FOLLOW USInstagram: instagram.com/neuroshamblesTikTok: tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespodFacebook: facebook.com/NeuroshamblesThreads: threads.net/@neuroshambles
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CREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay:https://pixabay.com/
 
Thank you for listening and being part of the Neuroshambles community. If you enjoyed this episode, please tell a friend, leave a review, or share it on social media. Have a nice life!

What happens when you hit a wall, and there’s no one around to help you up again? Liz Evans joins Mark to talk about parental burnout: what it looks like, why it’s so common, and the stigma around admitting you're not coping.
Liz discusses her own experiences of parental burnout, and shares her knowledge of how to spot the signs of impending burnout, before offering guidance on strategies we can implement to avoid it happening to us - because let's face it, many parents of autistic and ADHD children are constantly dancing around the edges of it.
This one’s a lifeline for exhausted parents of neurodivergent kids who have been in survival mode for far too long.
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
Together For Send Conference, Bristol - https://www.bristolparentcarers.org.uk/events/togetherforsend2025/
The Untypical OT website - https://the-untypical-ot.co.uk/
The Untypical OT podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/0L6K6RwcErY5Z9tggI40F3?si=d32fc06ab7ca4c60
The Untypical OT podcast (Heidi Mavir episode) - https://open.spotify.com/episode/49CtSzTKt8WStCL6bo8d5h?si=gVjZWlSgSj23eHJoMIGxWA
Workplace Burnout - https://www.who.int/news/item/28-05-2019-burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon-international-classification-of-diseases
Brené Brown short film on Empathy - https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw?si=nRHnjrN2pb4jZ-W7
Super Good Bikers For Autism - https://www.supergoodbikersforautism.com/
The Stimming Pool - https://www.thestimmingpool.com/
 
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

Despite what some people believe, getting an autism or ADHD diagnosis for your child is far from straightforward. It's a frustrating, emotional and exhausting journey - no matter which diagnosis pathway you travel. 
In this special episode, Mark speaks to Tam, who is his former partner, current co-parent and long time friend. They discuss the diagnosis process of their three neuro-exceptional kids, who each followed completely different routes in the UK - from NHS/CAMHS and private diagnosis, to the "Right to Choose" pathway.
This is a uniquely intimate and candid episode, where both parents reflect on the emotional rollercoaster of seeking diagnoses for Jay (diagnosed autistic/ADHD), Otto (diagnosed autistic/ADHD) and India (suspected autistic/ADHD... until now).
By a strange quirk of fate, the recording date of this episode fell on the same day they received the results of India's autism assessment, so you can hear their reaction to this, just moments after receiving the news, as they consider what it now means for their family unit.
It’s a raw, informative and validating conversation - particularly for parents wondering if it’s worth pushing for that piece of paper.
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
CAMHS - https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/your-guide-to-support/guide-to-camhs/
The Effra Clinic - https://www.effraclinic.co.uk/
Right To Choose - https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/about-the-nhs/your-choices-in-the-nhs/
All Dogs Have ADHD - https://amzn.eu/d/8Tzq6dj
All Cats Are on the Autism Spectrum - https://amzn.eu/d/byZg2mQ
ADHDUK - https://adhduk.co.uk/
Heba App (formerly Hibi) - https://www.heba.care/
 
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

Why do so many autistic and ADHD kids put on a brave face at school - only to melt down at home? Masking is a survival strategy for so many of our neurodivergent children. Pete Wharmby joins Mark to talk about why they do it, what the long terms affects are on their sense of self, and how we can help them unmask safely.
They explore the school environment, social pressures and internalised expectations that drive masking behaviour - often at great emotional cost.
Pete shares his personal journey of unmasking as an adult, and how he’s helping his own child feel accepted without having to perform. Mark reflects on the challenge of supporting a child who seems “fine” to outsiders – and the guilt that comes when parents question their own instincts.
If you’re looking for a neurodivergent parenting podcast episode that unpacks this essential topic with warmth, honesty and wisdom, this is it.
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
Pete Wharmby's website - https://petewharmby.com/
"Untypical" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/35cWwBh
Alexis Quinn - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/stories/stories-from-the-spectrum-alexis-quinn
University of Edinburgh study in autistic communication with other autistics - https://salvesen-research.ed.ac.uk/our-projects/autistic-autistic-communication
Autistic code switching - https://myautismmind.com/autism-masking/
Autistic Girls Network - https://autisticgirlsnetwork.org/
Lego hidden disabilities sunflower - https://hdsunflower.com/uk/insights/post/the-lego-group-joins-hidden-disabilities-sunflower
"What I Want To Talk About" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/3HoKSt9
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/ 

What do you do when you find out that you know more than the “experts” who are supposed to be helping you? In this episode, Mark is joined by Charlotte Mountford to talk about navigating services and seeking support for neurodivergent children.
This episode deals with the familiar frustration of having to deal with the professionals who are gatekeepers to the accommodations our neurodifferent kids need. From teachers, whose evidence you have to seek in order to get a diagnosis, to CAMHS specialists, GPs, occupational therapists and paediatricians - the list of professionals we need to interact with is dizzying.
Together, they also explore the disconnect between lived experience and professional expertise - and why parents so often become the real experts through necessity.
If you’re a parent of an autistic, ADHD or PDA child and have ever come away from a meeting less supported than when you went in, this episode is for you. 
LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:
"Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell - https://amzn.eu/d/91hZpN4
Dean Beadle Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/deanbeadlespeaker/ 
Dean Beadle Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/dean.beadlespeaker
Dan Beadle YouTube - https://youtube.com/@deanbeadleuk
Eliza Fricker - https://missingthemark.co.uk/
Kieran Rose - https://theautisticadvocate.com/
"Bilal's Bad Day" by Neelum Khan - https://amzn.eu/d/5amH9zO
"Neurotypicals don't juggle chainsaws" podcast - https://neurotypicalsdontjugglechainsaws.co.uk/
Liz Evans: The Untypical OT - https://the-untypical-ot.co.uk/
Badger Education Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/badger.educationBadger Education Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Badger.Education.Inclusive.SupportsBadger Education Free PDF - https://badger-education.co.uk/reasonable-adjustments-opt-in-2893
 
CONTACT US
If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.comFOLLOW US
Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@neuroshamblespod
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Neuroshambles
Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshamblesCREDITS
The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/